Sunday, March 28, 2010

I'm still concerned about it

Few months ago, I stop talking to one of my ex. I was so upset and yet angry cause of his attitude. I wouldn’t know how it’s going to feel like losing your dad but I’ll do my best to keep the family together. I don’t know if he’s contributing to the family, I don’t know much about him. But I know that if you come back drunk every night, having the life which going to kill you when you’re 50; as a mum, I would feel really upset and helpless.

Yes, true. Life is short, so live it to the max. No one knows why we are here for the sufferings. I don’t even know why am I working so hard for the same routines that must happened to everyone – study, work, get a lot of money, pay for your folks, pay for your kids, contribute to the society once in a while and, die

or the unusual routine, half way through it and, die.

But I am still happy most of the day and grateful every single day. I am living my life to the max with the routine but I did it in my own ways. That’s what makes everything so precious to me, for earning what I’ve been working for.

I did felt really upset when my grandma passed away. I even dreamt about her that I cry because she loves me so much and I didn’t really appreciate it. I was feeling reluctant to visit her when she was still alive but sick, even though she lived near my house that when I lost her, I felt so…… I don’t want this to happen to me anymore.

So what I’m going to do is - treasure all of them so that there’s no regret when you lose them for real.