i'm not caring?!

I’ve been dating almost 6 months, and I found out some rules that I need to remind you guys. Get all your close friends away from him. You can intro all of them to him but make sure that there’s no close talks, make sure that they won’t find any information about who you are, what you like, etc. If once they know who you are, they’ll set their mind an image of what your friends tell them. And that is a really big mistake cause it’s like a first impression, which will stick like forever no matter how much you try to change it, unless the person who give that impression tell them that you have indeed change.

That mistake happened to me. What Sha told Nat was true. The problem is Nat already have that impression of me and I can’t change it unless Sha tell him that I'd changed.

Nat always thinks that I’m not as caring as him. Thanks to Rae, now Nat can actually think that I’m caring, just not the way like he treat me. He might be caring me no matter what; protective, sometimes over protective, it's a visible action. This incident happened on Raya holiday. We went KL together and met Rae. Nat was sweating like hell as usual. I took my handkerchief to wipe his sweat. Rae thinks that it was sweet. Instead of thanking me, Nat was winning that I’m not wiping his sweat. Luckily Rae was there to prove him wrong. He wants me to be caring but he’s not even paying attention on me.

I always make an effort to go out with him, change more than 5 times to make sure I look perfect even I’m in my most casual outfit, I make sure that I’ll make him proud and not looks like dating a bimbo or a nerd.

He complained that I rather write other people than her own boy friend. What can I write when I can’t think of anything? Certainly no one will writes about every single incident in their life. I’m not going to write about we going for movies cause we go for movie like every once a week, and what else can it be after the movie? It’s going to be have supper together and have a short walk, or fuck and sleep over , or just drop me home and chat awhile, then go home. There’s nothing to write about, it’s too common that even I don’t know what to write. I’m not going to write what we chatted, we can talk the whole life, and I don’t have that time to write that much.....

If I’m not caring, I wouldn’t have mood swing every time you get sick and not going for doctor. If I’m not caring, I wouldn’t have nag or scold you. I can just date you and let you be whatever you are, become a loser or what, I don’t care. Watch you die of sickness or hunger; I won’t give a fuck if I don’t care about you.
How can you say that I’m not caring?